Tactical Bacon... Eat it up... Yum

Tactical Bacon

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Wow! A year...

Its been almost a year since my last post. I just do not seem to have the drive that some of my favorite bloggers  have. I have all kinds of stuff I want to talk about, but when it comes down to it, I can't seem to find the time to put them in coherent sentences. Chicken house pallet free need nails just doesn't make a lot of sense to others. Maybe I will find more time this summer between tending my awesome garden and training for Warrior Dash 2013.

Thursday, May 19, 2011


I read alot of blogs andam always saddenned to see one fall to the watside as the author gets busy and forgets about it. I just realized I have done the same. Ah well. I will try to do better...

Monday, July 26, 2010

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Happy Independence Day

Go find and read the Declaration of Independence and our Constitution.

Then go blow something up with fireworks!!!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Got this in an email and ...well just read it.

It is a long read, but, worth it.

If you have ever used an electric fence or know someone who has one, you should read this.
The language used is a bit salty, but 'he tells it like it is' without cursing.
This is funny....and true. This was sent by a retired dentist.

We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city.
To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.

Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had made for 26 miles of fence.
I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground.
The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower.
The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger.
I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.

It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand.
Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.

Time stood still.

The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body.
My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain.
Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of shit lawnmower were fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ.
Not only did I do all three at once, but my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second.
It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back
and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together
it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire.
My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences ... but
Dad always had those piece of shit chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled.

This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil.
At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.

'Damn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank! Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern
as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please let me die .... Pleeeeaze .
But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard,
begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day ..... he left me there covered in my own fluids
to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire ....

I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas.
It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.

There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot
where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it.
I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.

Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:

1 - Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2 - I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3 - Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.

4 - My left eye will not open.

5 - My right eye will not close.

6 - The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something
because it was better than new after that.

7 - My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long. ROFLMAO

8 - I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???).

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things.
I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news, is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize
what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Woohoo Free Ammo!!!

M.D. Creekmoore over at http://www.thesurvivalistblog.net/ is giving away a case, thats right 1000rds of 9mm boomstick food. The guys at http://www.luckygunner.com/ donated the ammo for this giveaway.

If I win it I may just have to get me a 9mm to shoot all that lovely FREE ammo. I expect I will have to get a Springfield XD(m)

I am one happy camper( until the wife finds out I have to get a new gun).

Take care...

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Win a Travel Berkey Filter!

Woohoo! Free stuff...

M.D. Creekmore over at the The Survivalist Blog – a survival blog dedicated to helping others prepare for and survive disaster – with articles on bug out bag contents, survival knife choices and a wealth of other survival information is giving away a Go Berky Water Filler System (a $139.00 value)! To enter, you just have to post about it on your blog. This is my entry. Visit The Survivalist Blog for the details.

Good luck.